Thursday, December 17, 2009

New Year's "Suggestions"

 Well! It’s December again already (I swear, didn’t we just DO Christmas? Heck, I’m still jazzed about the #48 winning 3 in a row, and here we are on 4 already!), which means it's about time to start making New Year's resolutions. To be honest, I hate making resolutions (what do you mean I can’t resolve to lose weight and to eat more cookies at the same time?!), so instead I thought I’d come up with a few ideas for Chad, the #48 team and NASCAR in general. Here goes:
  • Drive for Five, beeyotches!: I apologize to any Jeff Gordon fans here, but even though he's technically Chad's boss and I appreciate him giving Jimmie his start, I’m not the hugest fan, so I’d love to see the #48 get to 5 championships before the #24 does, and all right in a row, too, just to really rub it in. (*dodges flying tomatoes*)
  • Moar Chad adz plz k thx: I loved the "What are you doing, Jimmie?" ads so very much – keep up the good work, Lowe's! I've been missing that dancing Kasey Kahne ad all year this year (although I'm sure he doesn't, muahaha); don't make me have to pine for the Chad commercials all through 2010. Heyyyy, speaking of the KK ad, that gives me an idea! Dancing Chad, anyone? He did say Dancing with the Stars looked fun, after all. Pick a better song than "Rock You like a Hurricane" this time, though. "I'm Too Sexy" too obvious? ...Nahhhh!
  • Hour-long NASCAR Performance: Because you can never have too much Chad! What's that you say? He has more to do on race weekends than sit around and shoot the breeze with Larry Mac? But this is educational! Not that I hear a word any of them are saying while Chad's on-screen, but once I watch it the second time around and concentrate, it's such an enlightening show! And this country is founded on Enlightenment principles, so you see, it would be un-American not to add another half hour to the show! It would also be un-American not to add Alan Gustafson to the line-up... Yeah, I can't think of a good excuse for that one, but I'm positive it's a true statement. Ooh, and if they wanted to be really patriotic, they could have some Ron Malec guest appearances! God, I love this country.
  • Pick a Pit Crew Name: Kenseth's got the Killer Bees (which will be going away next year, they'll have to be the Flying Purple People Eaters or something) and Biffle's got the Pit Bulls... If anyone else needs a title, it's our 4-time champs, don't you think? I myself have absolutely no ideas, though...unfortunately, I think I peaked at Flying Purple People Eaters.
  • More of this sort of thing:

'Nuff said.
  • Bring Back the Crew Chief Race: This SO needs to be an annual event! If you haven't seen it, here are the YouTube videos of the heat race and the feature event, which took place during the spring race weekend at Charlotte in 2007. No dice in 2008 or '09, but we gotta get this going again in 2010! I love the Saturday Night Special they have at Bristol, but this was even better. I was whoopin' and hollerin' like crazy the first time I saw the heat race when Chad pulled an Earnhardt and tried to put Alan Gustafson (I think it was Alan, anyway) into the grass. We definitely need a rematch! (And no souped-up equipment for Petree this time!)
  • Chad Meet & Greet @ LVMS in February: Why? Because I will be there, of course!

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