Roast of the Champ

I guess things got a little interesting at the Roast of the Sprint Cup Champion today in Las Vegas! According to ESPN, it was a tad bit on the R-rated side...sounds like fun, right? Well, NASCAR being NASCAR, they're not going to put it on TV because it might warp impressionable kids' minds. Apparently they haven't heard of HBO or late-night TV, but I digress. Here are the two Chad-related jokes I could scavenge up from the entire hour-long event. The first one comes courtesy of Carl Edwards:

"Jimmie, I just have one question," Edwards said. "When you and Chad turn off the lights at night and hit the sack, who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon?"

LMAO! Oh, Carl, you would want to know all about that, wouldn't you? Even Jeff thinks you would, and Jeff knows about these things. :wink:wink: (Jeff's comment to Carl: "Hey, Carl, good job. I can tell you that marrying a pretty girl and having a baby is a great cover." ROFL. I now officially love Jeff Gordon.) Anyway, I think we all know the answer to the, er, "spoon" question, don't we? Chad doesn't get paid to call the shots for nothing, that's all I'm saying... ;)

And here's another from Kurt Busch:

"I figured out a new Chase format. Every Chase race, we pull out of a hat who gets to have Chad Knaus as their crew chief. Because it's certainly not your talent that wins you all these championships."

Major "ouch" for Jimmie! Not that I was expecting Kurt Busch to go easy on anybody. And therein lies the problem with Kurt's little experiment, because even though his car might run better with Chad, Kurt himself might not make it through the race if Chad jumps off the war wagon and throttles him after a couple of his famous outbursts. Ahem, I'm sorry, are my biases showing?

Read more quips and burns here:

• Johnson roast the best show in town (ESPN)
• Tidbits from 2Day's Roast of JJ (random website called Eons)