Hit the Road, Jack(man)

:cue creepy horror music...wait, is that redundant?:  I know I haven't updated in eons, but you KNOW I couldn't just sit here and zip my lip about the pit crew change.

Predictably, I'm going to defend Chad's decision. Yes, I think he did the right thing. The crew hasn't been up to snuff all year, and they've had plenty of chances to pick it up, but they haven't. I think that's the main reason I support this: it wasn't just an off-day for them; it was the final straw in a whole hay bale of screw-ups that broke the camel's back.

I also like that they're making changes now instead of waiting until the season's over just so they wouldn't hurt anybody's feelings. If improvement is not an option at this point, and you've got a championship on the line, you need to do what you have to do to ensure a win. It's not like they're taking a risk - the 24 crew has (obviously) been working together all year and have proven themselves to be fast. Now, if Chad had decided to just switch a few of the 48 crew guys out for some new ones at this point in the season, you bet I'd be questioning the heck out of that move, but here you've got a whole crew of guys who are used to working together on a daily basis. No prob. Does it look desperate? Maybe a little. But hey, if they've got a weakness, and it's this late in the season, I'd rather they try something drastic to fix it than just sit back and watch the championship slip away.

Now, as for this "win and lose as a group" stuff... I think there are two qualities that set Hendrick apart from the rest: their relaxed, positive attitude and the frank, business-like environment at the shop and the track. I am a firm believer in the power of working in a positive atmosphere; nobody benefits from added stress. If I had the choice between working at Penske or Hendrick, I know which one I'd choose, and it wouldn't be just because HMS has won more Cups recently.

Moreover, I think what enables them to maintain a relaxed, team-player atmosphere is that second quality, professionalism. Hendrick's goal is to win, and if a team member isn't contributing to that goal, they can expect to be replaced. It's nothing personal; it's just how things have to be in order to get the job done, and everybody knows that. This is all to say that if you're going to win and lose as a team, first you have to be a team. If you're not able to go the extra mile and pick yourself up when you know you haven't been doing your absolute best, there's just no room for you on the team. If you're doing your best, then yes, you win and lose as a team, but if there are improvements to be made and you can't come through with them, then you're not really functioning as a team to start with, in my opinion.

Do I feel bad for the 48 guys? Yeah. That's gotta suck to know you and your entire crew just got replaced by someone else's, and it must especially sting for the members of the crew who have been there long enough to have 4 Cup trophies sitting on their mantles and who know they're giving 100%, but they've also got to know that it was the right thing to do at the time to ensure Jimmie a good finish and possibly a championship.

I love the smell of Jello in the morning

Well, whaddya think, boys and girls? Twofer at Bristol? I know we haven't been the hot ticket in town lately, and our Fearless* Points Leader posted another big dub yesterday in Hockeytown -- oops, Michigan, I mean (wrong blog...gah, is it October yet?) -- but Bristol is anybody's race, and the 48 team has already given Jobu the big bird (and I don't mean a live chicken) and done it themselves once already this year, so what's to stop us from repeating? (And yes, I did watch Major League on VS tonight...funny you should ask.) We're already the Mack Daddies of Repeats (With Capital Letters), so I think everybody knows to never say never to this team. Plus, we've got that new Hendrick engine package, and while it wasn't what 3/4 of HMS's drivers were looking for last week, Stewart seem to have his horsies galloping westward-ho, so maybe he'll give his old pals down the street a tip or two.

Anyway, here in Jimmie Johnsonland, we also like to play a sport they call football, and our team is the Chargers (who knew, right? Not half of San Diego, that's for sure...not to be negative or anything). Bolts fans, as they're often called, have a little saying they like to trot out every now and then, a quote taken from that paragon of 20th century culture, Metallica, and that saying is: "Ride the lightning," bitches. That's right, my homeboy Jimmie will be riding the lightning at Thunder Valley this weekend, so better get out of the storm if you don't wanna get wet!

*because he ain't smart enough to be skeered

Schedule Changes

Thought I'd put in my 2 cents about next year's schedule changes since part of it affects me.

While I'm really bummed that Fontana is losing a date, I understand. The track doesn't sell out, and Southern California isn't known for being the biggest NASCAR market around. However, I really hate that we're losing the Chase race. I know, I know, Chicago has the second-largest media market in the series, so we can't compete, but here's why it sucks:

• October was the perfect time of year for a race at Fontana. Not too hot, not too cold. I can't tell you how perfect the weather was last year.
• The spring races at Fontana and Las Vegas are too close together. If anyone else is like me, they would like to go to both, but they have to pick one or the other because it's too much money to spend all at once. I understand they're probably going to move Fontana a little later and make Phoenix the second race (which I'll get to in a minute), but if it's any earlier than April, it's not going to work. May would be perfect, or June. Don't even THINK about putting it back in August though - that'd be one way to be absolutely certain nobody shows up. I refuse to sizzle like a miserable piece of bacon on a hot skillet.
• I'm just mad at Chicago, okay? They won the Stanley Cup this year, somebody with an Illinois license plate cut me off today, and now this. It's a good thing Chad is from Illinois; otherwise I'd be REALLY grouchy. :thinks happy Chad thoughts: Okay, I feel better now. :)

One thing I do like, though, is that they're moving Phoenix into Fontana's former slot as the second race of the season. There's still too much of a chance of rain in Fontana in February, if you ask me, and Phoenix is already too darn hot in April, so this is a perfect switch. I just hope that they actually do SWITCH the dates instead of jumbling things around so that Fontana comes earlier than April; otherwise, like I said, it's too close to Las Vegas. I mean, I suppose everybody in Arizona is going to be bummed that Phoenix is so close to Vegas now, but Southern California has a much bigger pool of people who might want to go to a second NASCAR race, so I think we win that battle. I wish they could be spread out so all of us could go to all three races around here, but seeing as how Florida and the Southwest are the only places that aren't under piles of snow in February, a couple of them have to be back-to-back out of necessity.

Also, I think it'd be super awesome if Las Vegas was the last race of the year...it would segue so nicely into Champion's Week! It's so not going to happen, especially since Ford pours a whole bunch of money into the Homestead race, but just for the record, I think it's a great idea! I'm sure everybody in Florida would disagree, and I know if it was here and they took it away, I'd be heartbroken, so I won't whine about this too much. Just sayin', I sure wouldn't mind if the season ender was in Vegas.

A load of BS by any other name will smell just as bad

Can I just say how completely torqued off I am that Denny Hamlin and Ryan Newman got fined for "talking smack" about NASCAR?

Now, I understand that there is a need to straighten up and fly right when it comes to your sponsors; they're paying you to represent their company. But when a GOVERNING BODY, which is supposed to be for the benefit of the sport, suppresses freedom of speech, all that says to me is Soviet Russia.

NASCAR apparently thinks that drivers sharing their honest opinions about the governing body is detrimental to the sport. To me, this is denigrating and condescending to the fans. Do they think we're so stupid that we don't realize when a screw-up has occurred, and that if they shut up the drivers and the press, we'll just suddenly get amnesia about said screw-up and think everything is hunky dory? How very insulting to our intelligence.

Also, I'm not sure what they're afraid of if the drivers DO say something negative about NASCAR. If so-and-so says, "NASCAR sucks and here's why!" on national TV, do they think we're going to say, "Yeah, he's right, I'm going to stop watching NASCAR from this moment on"? Uh hur hur, maybe if we didn't pass 3rd grade. However, if we did, we're probably going to say, you know what, he's right, there's a problem, now let's see how we can fix it. And we'll all call up Chocolate or Moody or whoever on XM (hehe, I listen to that channel wayyy too much) or write in our blogs or even send some mail off to Brian France c/o NASCAR with all of our ideas on how to fix the screw-up. We like NASCAR, capisce? We appreciate drivers' honesty on what's wrong with it because they're our voice and because we, the drivers and the fans, all want to see it improve! Call a spade a spade, for frack's sake, and let's move on!

My other big beef is the complete inconsistency and unfairness with which NASCAR handled this particular situation with Ryan and Denny. I specifically remember Carl Edwards, after one of his episodes at Dega (probably the Brad run-in), saying something like, they'll keep going along until somebody gets hurt and then they'll finally change something. Now why didn't he get fined for making comments detrimental to the sport in that case? And I'm SURE Tony Stewart has mouthed off before, and sometimes he gets in trouble, and sometimes he doesn't. I don't like that at all. I always thought NASCAR did a little better than most other sports about having fair and consistent rules, and then stuff like this comes out of nowhere and makes them look like the damn NHL (you know I love hockey, but Gary Bettman can shove it). Some people are already sure NASCAR plays favorites with drivers, and picking on two drivers out of all of them to fine does not help their image whatsoever.

In a nutshell, this inconsistency in rule enforcement, coupled with the total bass-ackwardsness of trying to control their image by suppressing the drivers' thoughts, is doing WAY more damage to the sport than Ryan Newman saying, "Hey, these restrictor plate races have some problems" EVER could.

Why JJ hasn't picked a name yet

Wondering why JJ and Chandra haven't come to a decision on what to name their baby daughter? Well, I think I might know what happened: seeing as JJ implicitly trusts Chad in all things, he certainly must have asked his 4-time champ crew chief for some suggestions on what to name her, knowing that, much like his creative solutions at work, he'd come up with something besides the usual choices like Ashley or Emily (I like those names myself, but you smell what I'm cooking...I mean, hell, my name's Jessica - doesn't get much more common than that in the '80s). What he didn't count on was how much Chad's passion for his work would influence his suggestions...

Chad's list of baby names:

- Micheline
- Valvolina
- Chevelle
- Mercedes
- Pennzoilita
- Daytona
- Charlotte

So, after JJ read the list, one of two things must've happened: either he realized that the names weren't exactly what he was looking for, or else he thought they were great but Chandra nixed them. Either way, at that point they must have reached a bit of an impasse when it became clear that Chad, despite his uncanny prowess at the track, was not going to help them in this field. Hence, they still need a few days to think about it! Sounds logical, right?

You know, in all seriousness, after writing that list, I actually think it would be kind of cool if they named her Charlotte. I think it's a good, normal-sounding name by itself, and it also happens to be a track that Jimmie's really good at, so it would have extra significance without scarring the kid for life (unlike Daytona, for example). But Pennzoilita's my real favorite, though, lol.

JJ vs. Kyle

It looks like maybe I'm finally going to get to see my Jimmie vs. Kyle match-up here pretty soon. I was kind of bummed because I thought it was finally going to come today, but even though watching them go back and forth for the lead was fun, I wanted to see them race for the WIN, dang it!

I'll just hold my pants on, though, because it looks like they're finally turning on the heat at the same time. In past years, it seems like if one is doing well, the other isn't. Kyle's been Mr. February-to-May for the past couple of years, and Jimmie, of course, always gets 'er wound up during the Chase. This year, though, Kyle seems like now he's just getting good and warmed up, and Jimmie's been strong at the beginning of the year, too, except for the last few races, so I hope they're finally going to get to go toe-to-toe and race up front against each other for a while. It'll also be interesting to see the two crew chiefs try to out-think each other...you've got Mr. 4-Time versus the Upstart Smarty-Pants from Nationwide, so here's hoping Dave Rogers is up to the challenge (because I KNOW Chad is ready!).

Anyway, I hope both of them can stay hot and get a bit of a rivalry going because that was fun today! ...Until Jimmie blew it, anyway. But that's the great thing about NASCAR - there's always next week! I can't wait for Charlotte...it's been a while since we've seen a good Coke 600, after last year's race got rained out and all. Bring it on!

Luck and Preparation

Not that Chad will ever see this, but just in case, I'd like to say, duuuude, you are so right!  You know how he's always saying you make your own luck?  I just had that illustrated to me in blindingly bright colors over the last three Red Wings games.  Yes, I'm talking about hockey again.  Sorry, it's taken over my brain.  So they're playing a best-of-seven game series against the San Jose Sharks, and there has been some epically bad officiating, and some epically bad luck for the Wings (Lidstrom's stick breaks, which leads to a Sharks breakaway, which leads to the game-winning goal for them...that kind of stuff).  They've lost all 3 games they've played so far.  Now, this hasn't been their best year ever, but I KNOW they can play better than they have been.  I do blame the reffing in part, but ya know what?  They needed to be prepared for that kind of stuff.  They needed to give themselves enough insurance so if they got a lame ref, or if their goalie had a bad night, or if Eaves got hurt and they had to put that #$% Williams in, it wouldn't cause them to fall to pieces.

THAT is why Jimmie and Chad are the masters of the universe.  Things go to hell in a handbasket at Texas?  No problem.  They've already won 3 Chase races and finished in the top 5 or 10 (probably the top 5...too lazy to look up the stats) in the others.  That allows them to concentrate on getting the car back out their as quickly and efficiently as possible and logging as many laps as possible, and then they can go on to the next race and kick some butt.  Which, of course, they did.

And I'm not trying to get down on the Red Wings here because I know playing to the level where you can have a little padding and leeway for errors is easier said than done.  For instance, you think you're doing pretty good going into the 3rd period with a 3-1 lead, and then all of a sudden the other team is tied up and you blow it in overtime.  You're never that far from trouble, whether it's an odd-man rush in hockey or The Big One at Talladega, and that just goes to show you just how very special the 48 team is.  They are prepared for everything, and when disaster strikes, they are composed enough to be able to take it in stride and go on to the next race knowing that everything is in place and ready for success.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is why the 48 team is lucky: because they put themselves in a position to be so.  And that is a really rare thing that I don't think enough race fans appreciate (including myself sometimes), even though Chad says it over and over.

LOL @ Jeff Gordon

Jeez, Jeff, have you been to the doctor lately? I'm no expert, but it sounds like you're going through menopause, man. I mean, over and above your kerfuffle with Jimmie, the fact that Tony Stewart had to calm YOU down last weekend tells me something just ain't right. What's next, Harvick and Edwards throw a popcorn party together?

But back to the Jimmie issue...I just don't understand why you've waited until now to be offended by a little beating and banging. I mean, you raced with Earnhardt for the first eight years of your career, right? I was assuming you'd probably be used to racing hard by now, but I guess I was wrong. What can I tell you, if it's still bothering you after all this time, maybe you should try switching to the kinder and gentler IndyCar Series. Either that, or like I said, give the doctor a call. He'll probably ask you a few questions, like, "Are you experiencing hot flashes?" I wouldn't know the answer to that one - you'll just have to be honest with yourself - but when he asks you if you're having mood swings, you can definitely answer "yes."

Signed,
A Concerned 48 Fan

Read what Jeffie's whining and moaning about: "Gordon's frustration with Johnson continues at 'Dega" (NASCAR.com)

The next big news story: "Golf ball car fails post-race inspection"

So I was watching MythBusters reruns last night, and doods, they had the most awesomest thing ever on there! It was...drum roll please...a golf ball car! You know how golf balls have little dimples on them? Well, apparently I'm a clueless idiot (yay for redundancy) because I thought that they were just, I dunno, pretty, pretty decorations or something, like maybe it was a promotional thing - "Space Age Golf Balls, everybody! Craggy like the surface of the moon!" I mean, they have pink golf balls, right? Other than making it easier to remember which ball is yours, that really brings nothing to your game. The dimples, however, do! Here's the science-nerd explanation from Wikipedia:

Firstly, the dimples on the surface of a golf ball cause the boundary layer on the upstream side of the ball to transition from laminar to turbulent. The turbulent boundary layer is able to remain attached to the surface of the ball much longer than a laminar boundary and so creates a narrower, low pressure, wake and hence less pressure drag. The reduction in pressure drag causes the ball to travel further.

So, in a nutshell, the dimples create less drag! This is where MythBusters comes in. They thought maybe if they put similar dimples on the surface of a car, the car would create less drag and get better gas mileage. They were skeptical about it, but it turns out the theory was right. The car, when covered with modeler's clay but not yet dimpled, got 26 mpg. The car, with dimples (and weighing the same as before...they put the scooped-out clay in a box in the back seat), got 29 mph. Nice!

Pic of the golf ball car (too lazy to upload it)

Now, 3 miles a gallon more in a NASCAR race will do you quite a lot of good, right? Oh, Chad, yoohoo! I think I have an idea here that's calling your name! Of course, if a car went through pre-race inspection looking like that, the officials would laugh if the team's face, but come on, this is Chad "Skinny Windows" Knaus we're talking about here! There's GOTTA be a way to make the car appear flat during inspection, but then suck in to make dimples in certain spots during the race, right? I mean, obviously you'd have to use some sort of material other than metal, since duh, it's not that bendy, and even if you could make it dent in a little, it would bulge back out when you tried to straighten it out. I mean, obviously this needs a lot more thought and ironing out of "minor" details, but man, I'd love to see Chad or any similarly devious-minded crew chief take a swing at this (if, you know, it didn't result in major penalties and/or suspension, which it probably would).

(P.S. Ya know, I couldn't come up with anybody who could play Jimmie or Chad in a movie...Jimmie I probably just didn't try hard enough, but Chad? Nobody looks like Chad! Chad is just...Chad, man. I know, I know, I'm the one who came up with the dumb idea, so I should at least have the courtesy to answer my own dang question, but...too bad!)

Cast a Team 48 movie!

HOLD EVERYTHING!!! Ladies and gentlemen, I have an idea!! I just wrote a big whine & complain fest about how I totally had writer's block and had absolutely nothing to say, but I guess that got it out of my system because now I actually thought of something! I mean, granted, it's not exactly a Cheesin' Chadwick quality idea, but it's better than nothing!

So, if you were to cast a biopic about the 48 team, who would you pick to play Jimmie, Chad, Mr. H, Ron Malec, etc.? Um, I don't actually have any ideas myself, which is lame, I know, but I'm going to think about it and get back to you. Meanwhile, if you guys have any great ideas, feel free to post them in the comments! *Wonders how many posts will go by before someone mentions Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal for Chad and Jimmie*

(I do, however, have an awesome idea for a '90s Red Wings movie, which is what spurred this whole thing. Wanna hear? Too bad, I'm gonna tell you anyway, lol. Okay, so Steve Yzerman will be played by Johnny Depp, which is a bit of a stretch, but check out Stevie with a mustache - I swear the resemblance is there! Brendan Shanahan will be played by Patrick Dempsey, which would be fookin' PERFECT, am I right? Then Jeff Bridges is Darren McCarty - actually, I'm pretty sure Darren really IS Jeff Bridges in disguise - and Paul Bettany is Nicklas Lidstrom. Too bad country singer Gary Allan doesn't act...I swear he and Nick look alike. That's what I've got so far, anyway...I'm still trying to think of somebody for Osgood and Fedorov. The only problem is most of these actors are older than the players themselves are now, so it'd be kind of hard for it to be set in the '90s, but eh, who needs logic?)

12th at Atlanta

Welp, no three-in-a-row for Jimmie, but the 48 car did finish 12th and moved up to 4th in points. I had to leave before things got exciting, so I didn't see the team's pit problems or the run-in with Newman. Or the Edwards-Keselowski incident, either! I GOTTA go back and watch that! I never thought I'd say this, but HECK YEAH EDWARDS!! Somebody needed to teach that kid (haha, "kid," he's almost a year older than me) a lesson. I don't care if the original contact between them was an accident; Brad's been stockpiling bad karma for I don't know how long, and it was time for someone to cash it in for him. Thanks for doing the honors, Carl.

I have to say, I don't like seeing anybody's car going airborne, though, and I'm glad Brad's okay. On the other hand, they now have their tit-for-tat: Brad flipped Carl at Dega, now Carl flips Brad. As much as I really am concerned about safety, a part of me can't help but think there was a measure of just deserts being doled out here.

Speaking of safety, Brad himself had a Public Service Announcement to make about clean racing afterward: "To come back and just intentionally wreck someone, that's not cool. He could have killed someone in the grandstands." (AP) Gee, Brad, ya think? Maybe you should have thought of that at Dega before you flipped Carl into the stands, which actually did hurt people! Oh wait, but that was totally accidental, I forgot. Just like all the other times you've "accidentally" wrecked people in the Nationwide Series. I'm so glad to hear that the safety of the drivers and fans is what's really at the forefront of your mind, and all that wreckin' stuff was purely coincidental.

Sorry this doesn't really have anything to do with Chad and the 48 guys...what can I say, they didn't spend last year wrecking half the Nationwide field, so they're just not as exciting to talk about at the moment. (While we're off the subject, I would also like to say congrats to the Red Wings for beating the Blackhawks 5-4! Honestly, I was not expecting that, and it was awesome!)

Hidy Ho

Sorry I haven't updated in a while...well, I guess a week's not really that bad; usually when I apologize for that kind of thing it's because I haven't been to that message board or website or whatever in a year or so, so actually, I'm not that sorry.

Here's another short little video from Chad (who is doing something productive with his spare time while Jimmie preens for the camera in the background), which gives you a sneak peak at the 2010 uniforms and paint schemes:

• Chad - 2010 Welcome (Facebook)

Did everybody watch the 2nd episode of Race to Daytona last night? Once again, good stuff! Bwahaha, I loved the part where the crew's in a meeting and Chad says, "Guess he jinxed himself on that one!" referring to Jimmie saying in the last episode that sometimes he goes out and crashes a new car. Hehe, I wonder what JJ's going to say to get back at Chad for that little comment? Gee, this show is even funner than I thought! *evil grin*

Um, this is off-topic, but I wanted to get on the predictions train (not as groovy as the soul train or as tasty as the gravy train, but then again I only like the gravy train when there's a biscuit involved...oh my God, somehow I'm talking about food again) and say who I think will win the Daytona 500. Now, this has no basis in statistics or any sort of advanced critical thinking, or even which driver I want to win; it's just purely based on a total hunch, and that driver is...Kyle Busch! :cue groans here: Now, OF COURSE I want Tony or Jimmie to win more, but for some reason I think this is Kyle's year, and he's going to git-r-done, folks! Watch, now he'll come in dead last (if that happens, you can blame it on me, Kyle), but that's my pick, and I'm sticking to it. I did halfway decently using my non-scientific but somewhat unbiased system during the Chase last year, so we'll see if I can keep rolling sevens here.

CKF is goin' to Vegas!

Just bought my tickets for both races at Las Vegas Motor Speedway in February, plus a Neon Garage pass!  Woohoo, I'm so excited!!! Hopefully this means more opportunities for good pictures, so if you only visit this page one more time ever, definitely make it in early March. Hehe, pressure's on now - this time I have to get some good pics! I think I'll try to figure out how to blog from my phone, too, so if I have any Chad sightings, I can freak out on here immediately afterward, ha.

This is going to be so cool! I've only ever been to Fontana, so this will be a completely new experience for me! Plus my JJ 4-time-champ, really-flippin'-awesome jacket finally came in the mail earlier this week, and I can't wait for an excuse to flaunt it! Even if I don't get any shots of Chad, I'll have plenty of me wearing that jacket, whether you want to see them or not. ;) And last but not least, IT'S VEGAS, BABY! Seriously, could they have thought of cooler place to put a race track? I don't think so. There are cooler race tracks out there, yeah, but not in a cooler location than this.

And just to add some actual Chad to this post, here's a little something I thought y'all might like to see:

:Sigh: Ya know, Chad by himself always makes for good ogling, but Chad working on a car is just...I don't know, it's a little piece of harmony in this chaotic universe, ya know?

The Chad Went Down to Georgia

I know the Charlie Daniels Band already has one song about NASCAR ("The Intimidator"), but while I was bored a few days ago I figured there was room for another, so I reworked "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" to tell the tale not of Johnny and his fiddle, but of a NASCAR crew chief and an epic battle of good and evil. Well, I tried, anyway...here's the result (try not to laugh too hard, hehe):


The Devil went down to Georgia; he was looking for a soul to steal.
He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind, so he was willing to make a deal,
When he came across this young man crankin' on a stock car and runnin' it hot,
And the Devil jumped up on the team's war wagon and said, "Boy, let me tell you what,
"I bet you didn't know it, but I'm a race car driver too,
"And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
"Now you set up a pretty good race car, boy, but give the Devil his due.
"I'll bet a trophy of gold against your soul, 'cause I think I'm better than you."
The boy said, "Well, my name's Chad, and it might be a sin,
"But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'cause I'm the best that's ever been!"

Chad, call up your crew and work on tunin' that 48 car,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia, and the Devil deals the cards,
And if you win you get this shiny trophy made of gold,
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul.

The Devil climbed right in his car, and he said, "I'll start this show,"
And fire flew from his tailpipes as it roared to life on pit row.
Chad turned to Jimmie with a steely look and said, "Just do your best."
He didn't tell him that the stakes at Atlanta were higher than all the rest.

Now, the Devil was leading when Chad said, "Well, you're pretty good, ol' son,
"But sit back during this pit stop here, and let me show you how it's done!"

"Fire in the pit stalls, run, boys, run,
"Jimmie's coming in in 3-2-1,
"Take four tires and fill up the gas,
"Go down a round on the track bar, fast!"

The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat;
Jimmie passed him off pit road and never let up on his 2-second lead,
And Chad said, "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again.
"I told you not once but FOUR DAMN TIMES, we're the best that's ever been!"

2010 Paint Schemes

You've probably already seen these, but in case you haven't, here's what the cars will look like next season. Sorry for not posting the pics directly, but I didn't want to steal from Jayski.

2010 Paint Schemes (Jayski.com)

The black and silver one with the Kobalt sponsor at the bottom is pretty much the same as last year's, but the first one got a major overhaul, going from blue and silver to blue and white. Hmm, I think I liked last year's with the silver better... I'm not really a big fan of white on race cars in general; I wish they had run Dale Jr.'s green-and-black car that he had at Talladega for most of the year instead of the green-and-white one, myself. Similarly, my favorite 48 car is from 2008, which also has a lot of black on it.

I wonder what kind of hat Chad will have next year, speaking of color schemes. Black, white, or tan...hmm! Once again, I'd go with black, myself (what can I say - must be the Earnhardt fan in me), but I liked last year's white one too, though...made him easy to spot against all the other guys' black hats, plus I liked that the "48" was more prominently displayed, so I don't feel like a walking ad for Lowe's. My dad's got one of the '08 black hats (yes, I turned him to the Chad Side, hehe), and someone actually asked him if he worked at Lowe's...oy! Obviously, Chad doesn't need a hat to tell the world he's with the 48 team, but it'd be helpful for the rest of us, though. As for tan...it looked good on him, so no complaints there, but I like the last couple that have been more in line with the paint scheme.

It Can Be Taught!

This pic of Jimmie was on the front page of NASCAR.com:

Look at him sitting there lost in thought, intently taking notes with the utmost concentration! Gee, who does that remind you of? It seems as though all those years of rolled eyes, facepalms, and what-are-you-doing-Jimmies finally paid off - Chad has successfully created a Mini-Me! "No, Jimmie, we do not gnaw on our kitty. Leave Mr. Bigglesworth alone. Go write in your notebook...good boy."

(Later on I'll have more Blast from the Past Chad pics, I promise.)

Sporting News on JJ Jr.

Writer Jim Pedley (from Sporting News) had a couple of suggestions for new parents-to-be Jimmie and Chandra, including a few concerning Uncle Chad:

• "I wonder if the decision to have a child had to be cleared through Chad Knaus." (You know, somehow that doesn't sound as far fetched as it might seem...)
  
• "I suggest to Uncle Chad that an arc welder is not an appropriate gift for a new-born." (Aww, why not? Gotta get 'em started early!)
  
• "I wonder if Chad will be on the headphones to Jimmie and Chandra during those crucial moments in the hospital." (If it was up to Jimmie, heck, he probably would, but Chandra might have something to say about that!)
  
• "I suggest presents to the child from Uncle Tony be thoroughly screened." (I just liked this one, hehe.) 

Read all the suggestions here.

Rowdy.com: Chad Knaus Is Weird

Tonight we bring you an in-depth examination of the inner workings of Chad Knaus's mind from Rowdy Racing's (no relation to Kyle Busch) Bass Masters VBlog:

• Knaus's Secret (YouTube)

OMG, newsflash, Chad Knaus is weird! ...Duhhh, big red truck, guys! What was your first clue? I mean, of course they pointed out that his dedication, crazy as it may seem to us common folk, is exactly what got him where he is, and of course they're totally right about that. I'm just surprised they didn't think he was weird before, that's all! As an English major, I guess I'm used to the fact that major weirdos end up doing great things. In fact, I can't think of too many authors who weren't a little warped. Don't even get me started on Lord Byron...

Anyway, don't wake me up for the morning news unless Chad suddenly starts agreeing with Michael Waltrip on This Week in NASCAR all the time - THEN we'll have a problem!

The Chad: Now in Sandwich Form

Now that I've got you all yelling, "I'll take one of those!!!" I have to disappoint you and tell you it's not exactly what you're imagining. Here's the story... I was having lunch at Brian's American Eatery in Hillcrest (God I hope this doesn't show up in the Google search for it) the other day and couldn't help but notice a certain item on the menu:

Yep, despite the fuzzy picture (I'd blame it on the camera phone, but it's totally just my lack of skills), you're seeing right - the fourth sandwich down is named not just any old Chad, but The Chad! I don't think anyone there is a NASCAR fan, but I couldn't help but smile when I saw the name. I thought about asking for a side of Jimmie, but I don't need any more awkward stares than I already get on a day-to-day basis. So anyway, there you go, Chad: if you and Jimmie ever get in a fight about who's cooler, you just ask Jimmie if he has a sandwich named after him.

Now, I have to admit, I'm kind of falling down on the job as a Chad fan because I have never tried The Chad (tee-hee...sorry, but there is a certain amount of wrongness in that statement that I just can't ignore). I love their tuna sandwich (listed as Jaws Jr., lol...at least they don't make you say stuff like "Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity" out loud) and their chicken and a waffle (yes, that's fried chicken...and a waffle...on the same plate) so much that every time I think, "Okay, THIS time I'm going to get The Chad," I cave in and get one of those (usually the tuna...gotta keep the fried stuff to a minimum) instead. I swear, next time I go there, I WILL try The Chad and report back on how it was.(*tries hard to suppress juvenile giggles, fails*...I am more and more relieved to hear he doesn't get on the Internet much.)

Oh, and in case you can't read it (sorry), here's the description:

"Golden chicken tenders, thin sliced ham and Swiss cheese on grilled thick sourdough. Served with a side of honey mustard dressing."

Doesn't sound too bad, does it? As long as the ham's good...

Off-Topic: Danica

Everybody and their mother has an opinion about Danica, and even though I know what they say opinions are like, I still feel the need to get this off my chest.

First off, I'm not going to talk about her image. You either like her or you don't, and that's none of my concern. As for my personal bias, I like her all right...I'm not a superfan, but I'm definitely not an Official Danica Hater by any means. What I want to address, though, are the people that either A) expect her to hop in the race car and win races immediately, or B) think she'll do horribly just because she's only ever won 1 race in IndyCar.

So let's talk about A... On one hand, I guess if I were her I would consider it a compliment that people expect her to get top 10 finishes and win races right off the bat, but as much as I would like to see that, too, I think it's unrealistic. Montoya has said stock cars are the most challenging race cars he's ever driven, so I'm going to take his word for it and not expect miracles out of Danica. I totally don't have a problem with her taking a couple of years to adjust to it, as long as she eventually does adjust and doesn't keep hanging on just because she has the sponsorship to do it (:cough:Hornish:cough:).

What I'm worried about is the people who DO expect her to have a Tony Stewart-esque rookie year, and if she only has an okay year, they'll be haranguing her worse than any other rookie ever got harangued. If she has an awful year, well then, let's call a spade a spade, but at that point I'll still say she deserves a second chance in 2011.

Now on to B: I can't stand it when people let her IndyCar stats influence how they think she's going to do next year. I know she's only ever won one race, and I have to admit I've thought to myself, "What's up with that, Ms. Superstar?" on a few occasions. I know it's harder to pass in open wheel cars, though, and that a zillion other things are different about them, so I find it really hard to pass judgment on her either way because her performance in IndyCars just doesn't translate at all to NASCAR. Bottom line, we'll all just have to wait and see what happens because there's no way to make a prediction about how she'll do based on the past. Period.

Ah, I feel so much better! Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...